Remember in elementary school, the know-it-all smartypants kid, the one who was always called on when nobody else knew the answer? Well, in my school, I was that kid. We were poor, so I never had the cool stuff, I never knew what the "in" thing was, and I loved learning. From 6th grade through 12th grade, I attended five different schools. I didn't really have a chance to rediscover myself, so that slightly outcast girl grew into an unbelievably naive teenager. (Really. I to this day have difficulty believing teenagers have sex. Or drink.)
The point of this trip down memory lane is that I didn't have the chance as a teenager to express those overpowering hormonal crushes. The one time I did date a guy, I kissed him on the first date, and he forever thought of me as a "loose woman." Honestly, I didn't know any better. The whole 1st-base, 2nd-base, 3rd-base thing? I didn't know what it meant until I was married.
Seriously, folks. I had a unique upbringing. Not all bad, but certainly different from most people. I graduated high school when I was 16 and then graduated college at 19, when I headed off to seminary. So by 20 or 21, when I finally started getting the idea to "experiment" a little, I was in an environment where we were learning to be holy examples of pious living (or something.)
So, now, to relive the fun of those early adolescent crushes, the pure adrenaline surge gotten from just thinking about someone, I have all kinds of online crushes. The way I know something is a crush and not just an interest is that I have to do at least two Google searches for the person beyond how I know them (ie, MOO, chatroom, blogging.) Once I've done that, I realize, I'm hooked. Until the next one comes along.
These crushes are not sexual (except for Janey); often, they're not even romantic (well, ignore the kissy lips on Brendan Fraser....). They are flirtatious and fun. And mostly short-lived, but a few have become part of my life in a tangible, wonderful way.
LOVES OF MY LIFE
online crushes who've gone the distance